In Praise of Dirty Old Men Dirty old man Dirty old man Come unto Me Lecherous lustful eyes Heavy eyelids Slobbering mouth Big brutish bestial paws Groping Feverishly for my youthful innocent private parts Make me quiver! Let me grovel at your Foul filthy Feet Ravenously lick your husky hairy sweaty sleazy lascivious depraved body From top to toe Talk dirty in my ear Oh, please Your manly breath reeking of booze Driving me Wild Dirty old man!